today i saw a sofrozen

registering as an alien in another country is a bitch. so is trying to get health insurance. so is making phone calls. i miss my cell phone with all my heart.

the blonde kids here say they feel like freaks; the japanese treat them with hostility and mistrust. the japanese-american kids feel the expectation of their faces; they should know how to speak but they don't, and if they do, it's not enough.

what do i feel? i feel my invisibility. no one sees me here, no one notices me. if i had to guess what people thought about me, i'd say they thought nothing at all. it doesn't mean i fit in, it doesn't mean i'm not an outsider. i don't even know what it means.

i think i want it to mean that i'm not here at all. has it really only been 5 days? it feels like forever.