i think i missed the memo

gym
Originally uploaded by sillyhapa.

I have now visited every grade school, middle school, juvenile delinquency center, old folks home, technical trade school, seaweed museum, and potato farm in Nanae Cho. I think. And if I've visited it, that means I've endured being placed on stage, given a microphone, and being made to speak in Japanese about myself, my home country, and my interest in Japanese food. To much loud applause, flash photography, and song-singing, of course. Then I'm shuttled off to individual classrooms to be given the rock star treatment -- AKA, everyone asks me whatever they can think of in Japanese (which one of us do you think is the best looking? do you like japanese food? do you have a boyfriend?), then asks for my autograph, then trails me for the rest of my stay (without saying anything, just following and maybe grabbing). Very odd indeed.

Things they should have put on the list of what to bring to Hokkaido: Fluency in Japanese (nothing is ever translated), Desire to Speak in Public (usually as part of a special ceremony. Also: Desire to Give Interviews, Have Picture Taken, and Meet Important People), Shareable Special Talent (singing of national anthem, juggling, or riding a unicycle would be nice), Knowledge of Home Country's Cuisine (and preferably a way to make a dish to serve 50 that doesn't require ovens, as Japanese people don't own any), and last but not least, Willingness to Put Up With Weird Formalities.

Don't even ask how many of these things I thought to bring with me beforehand.

I would also like to add that I have summarily been put on what I like to call the Japanese Schoolchild Diet. Maybe they're trying to tell me I'm fat, but I don't really appreciate the sentiment when it comes by way of a lunch portion the same size as a 7-year old's. Yeah, it's cute when Japanese schoolchildren don white hats and aprons and then serve you one bite of meat, two bites of vegetable, a bowl of soup, and a carton of warm whole milk, but it's also a tad unsatisfying.